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Wedding woes are over...for now...Dun dun dun! We finally found a location for the ceremony and the reception and our date is now set in stone.
I had no idea how difficult it would be to find a church. For an entire month we searched day in and out with the help of my mom, my grandma, the ladies at my grandma's salon...but to no avail. Thanks anyway ladies.
So our dreams of a church wedding have fallen through...now we're getting married in a barn....that I've never seen. The deposit is paid and our names are penned in on the calendar, so even if I hate it no one will ever be the wiser. I have to admit I'm getting pretty pumped though. Now the fun starts!
And now a note...
Dear Churches of OKC,
It seems strange to me that a Christian couple in Oklahoma City (this is the Bible Belt after all) can be flat out blacklisted from being married within your doors. Since when did you start plagiarizing your policies from the country clubs of the Deep South?
Thank you for empathizing with me, oh Pastors of OKC, but if I hear one more "I'd love to help you but the Elders/ Deacons/ Session/ Church Members just won't let me" .... well....there's just no telling what I'll do. Probably hang up on you I guess.
To the church secretaries, thank you for being such a shining example of Christ's love. With every snide comment and every "click" I heard on the other end of the phone when I was revealed as a non-member, I was reminded of the importance God places on hospitality. John Lennon once said, " Jesus was all right, but his secretaries were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."
I am not just some kid off the street! I'm a church member too...a baptized, born-again, Bible-believing, youth small group leader! I received a tiny Gideon Bible at my dedication just like you! I've written letters, been to interviews...What else do you want from me!?
I'm sorry, my disappointments must seem so selfish to you. I understand that you have the best interests of your congregation at heart. These policies that are driving me crazy are meant to protect you. I understand that you "want to be known for more than your building." I understand that you are "more than a wedding chapel." I understand how other couples have abused and defiled your sanctuary. I even understand the absurdity of shopping for a church based on aesthetic appeal.
So no hard feelings, I guess. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be married before God in a barn.
"The sky will be my canopy."
Thanks for not a whole lot,
Marissa
posted at 5:39 PM
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posted at 10:06 AM
7/11/2005
Reasons why we would all be fired if corporate sent in some kind of sensitivity consultant guy:
1. The frequent use of the word "homo" in friendly greetings
2. Two coworkers responding to an engagement announcement:
"There's something you don't see everyday, a black woman and a white man together." "I know you never see that, at least not displayed publicly."
3. Some random woman from corporate trying to relate to us Okies:
First she goes on and on about our strange "rodeo practices" and how they're very similar to their horse races, except dirtier and without the mint juleps I guess. Then she tops that off with the comment "You know my grandaddy was a half-breed from Oklahoma." We stopped listening to her after that.
She did look like she had a little pomeranian in her though. I should have asked.
I guess that's what you get when corporate headquarters are in Georgia.
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posted at 11:00 AM
7/01/2005
A list
1. Shaun and Kristi rode off into the rain towards a new life this morning. We'll miss you guys. Good luck and no matter how desperate you are for a job...stay away from Lockheed Martin. We'll see you in a year!
2. As you can tell from the June 23rd post, Chicago rocked our socks. And we, in turn, rocked Chicago. Thanks so much to Michael and Kelli for being the perfect hosts. Simon, I still miss your furry butt in my face at night. I wish we could have stayed longer but... you know...the man and all.
3. I was going to give a brief synopsis of our engagement story...cause it's pretty hilarious...or a least a little humorous. I don't, however, want to be the kind of bride-to-be that is constantly updating people on the minutiae of her plans. It kind of makes me a little sick inside...and I don't want others to fantasize on various ways to kill me.
4. On that note, I bought the napkins for the reception and took them to get dry-cleaned yesterday....When I picked them up they were wrinkled! I told the woman at the counter that she ruined my wedding. Tomorrow I will fire bomb the cleaners.
5. No part of number four is true. I will be renting my napkins thank you.
6. Three day weekends blow. A monday off is not worth all the extra work and late nights it takes to get ready. I hate you three day weekend. I hate you.
7. Marty's back in town...that's always a good time.
8. My new car is one sweet ride. Yes, it looks like a 75 year old man's last-quarter-crisis car but its ride is smoooooth. Can you dig it?
My coffee is cold...time to go.
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A Confession
posted at 9:49 AM
I enjoy casual fridays way too much. Every thursday I announce it's imminent arrival with glee.
"Chris!" I say, "I can wear jeans to work tomorrow!" Then I do a little dance. Christopher looks at me funny and I can only assume that he is reevaluating his recent life choices, (i.e. proposing). Jerk.
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A Note
posted at 9:18 AM
Dear Whistling Guy,
You're just brimming over with joy aren't you? Congratulations on that. I'm genuinely glad that your life is going so well. However, do you find you have a serious lack of human companionship?
Your whistling leaves a lot to be desired. It's more like a sigh, a "pshew" after a job well done, with just a hint of a note to it...and it's constant...and monotonous. Only your hacking cough stops the drone of your whistle and really I think I prefer the cough even though it sounds like your lungs are trying to take you out (and us) in the most violent way possible. Maybe you should stop bragging that you single–handedly kept the smoke shops open for two decades....it really sucks the sympathy right out of people.
Just thought you should know,
Marissa
P.S. Didn't you retire a month ago? We had cake. Go home.
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