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Dear Whistling Guy,
You're just brimming over with joy aren't you? Congratulations on that. I'm genuinely glad that your life is going so well. However, do you find you have a serious lack of human companionship?
Your whistling leaves a lot to be desired. It's more like a sigh, a "pshew" after a job well done, with just a hint of a note to it...and it's constant...and monotonous. Only your hacking cough stops the drone of your whistle and really I think I prefer the cough even though it sounds like your lungs are trying to take you out (and us) in the most violent way possible. Maybe you should stop bragging that you single–handedly kept the smoke shops open for two decades....it really sucks the sympathy right out of people.
Just thought you should know,
Marissa
P.S. Didn't you retire a month ago? We had cake. Go home.
posted at 9:18 AM
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